The thoughtless approach to life

Guys, its 2.46 in the night, and I guess I am too excited to sleep. Why you ask, well I’ve just had a drastic change of perspective. Many of you might be wondering, what an odd title for today’s post, “The thoughtless approach to life”, what the hell does that mean? It means, acting the way your heart says, it means acting without the brain coming into the picture, in other words, THOUGHTLESS.

There’s an old cliché that goes, “Do what your heart says”. I agree, at times this does act out to be a better approach, especially when you depend on your ‘gut instinct’. However, I must say, I disagree with ‘going with the heart approach’. There are many situations in life, wherein, going with your heart, will make you feel like a jerk. These situations are the ones in which you get angry, your heart tells you to lambaste the person you are angry on, your brain doesn’t tell you anything because you are too angry for it to comprehend what you are doing, and you go ahead and berate the person. In any other saintly blog, people would tell you, think of how it makes the other person feel, thing of his/her feelings, you hurt the person you care for, blah, blah, blah. That’s all a bunch of BS. Think of what YOU get after that. Let the person you roughed up (not literally) will think about him. Think about you, you’ll get a totally tempestuous demeanor.

Let us take a simple example which will make this lucid. A typical scenario of a boy and a girl, they are not engaged, but there could be something cooking there. The two plan a date, at the last moment, the girl cancels it because there is another friend of hers who has some problem and she has no alternative but to help him (common he’s a friend too). A typical example in which the both, the girl and the boy are right at their positions but the boy is super pissed off coz he feels he was ditched. Let’s say, you are the boy, there are three approaches you can take to handle this situation:

Approach I:
You don’t call the girl coz you are angry and wait for her to call you. (There’s good chance that she might not call you for a couple of days), this will stoke your anger and you’ll feel more pissed off. Ultimately there’s a dialog, and you give her a piece of your mind in all vehemence.

Repercussions: You are more pissed off, coz now, not only are you angry, you’ve lost that chance for a date, or at least delayed it.

Approach II:
If you are like me and can’t sit tight until you’ve taken your revenge, you’ll gush out your anger on the girl.

Repercussions: The girl is afraid of you as you are now whimsical in her opinion and areunpredictable. She stops telling you the truth about things coz she doesn’t know how you’ll react. You are obviously still pissed off. Also, similar to the earlier approach, you’ve lost that chance for a date, or at least delayed it.

In both these approaches, you are losing out. You are still angry, the girl thinks you are crazy and your chances of the date have slimed. Now comes the third approach:

Approach III:
Talk to the girl, very gently. Conjure up some dialog which will make her feel important (remember we are using our brain here). Explain to her that you are going through all this trouble to make her understand and blah blah, you get the hint.
Result: The girl feels you are a very mature person (you know you are not ;)), she respects you more, you are closer to her, you’ll surely go on a date now, next time, her other friend might get the second priority since you care about her so much.

The example is just to make you guys understand but the bottom line is, think about how your approach benefits you. Ultimately, being angry is justified but you have to make the best out of the situation for yourself. And that comes only when you stop thoughtless approach to life. All of us are cerebral; we just have to make use of our wits.

Cheers,
Swapnesh